With the exception of my sister and my mother, I really don't know many people who are innocent of at least one alcohol related problem. Whether it's binge drinking, driving drunk, having intoxicated one-night stands, calling in sick at least once a week due to hangovers, or drinking alone, every one in my life makes poor decisions because of alcohol. Obviously I am included in this bunch which is why I'm doing this. I can't change the people around me, but I can change myself. Then eventually I may have to find new friends.
I've been dealing with this stuff since high school and it never gets any easier. When I'm not being the binge-drinking idiot who loses control after too many T&Ts, I'm the smart, sober goody-goody who feels sorry for all the poor folks around her. Neither is very much fun, let me assure you. Why does it have to be one or the other though? I've been wondering that for awhile and I think the answer is fairly plain. I live in Wisconsin.
UW Madison was the #4 party school last year, and I think it was #2 when I went there. So the fact that much of my college life was spent in a drunken haze is no surprise. When I graduated and moved on, however, I was expecting things to change, and three years later, not a whole lot has changed. I drink less because I have more responsibility and my body simply cannot handle it. But a lot of the people around me act as though they are still living out their college glory years. It's just the way things are in this state, and it's really sad. If the weekend rolls around and you don't feel like going out to the bar or downing a few six-packs at someone's apartment, good luck finding an alternative...at least one you can do with another person. For me, the options have always been...go to a movie, read or write at Barnes & Noble, or sit at home and watch TV. Not that I don't thoroughly enjoy these things because I do. I just wish there wider variety of social activities to choose from.
Someday all of this won't matter. I'll have a family, smart and responsible friends who actually have priorities, and of course my love of cooking, writing, and acting to get me by when all else fails. Being in your twenties is surely overrated and I know that now. So to get through the next five years I've just got to try as hard as I can to stay true to myself and not fall by the wayside. But first, I've got to get through the next 47 days.
3 comments:
Mike's college friends are STILL this way and they're all mid 30's now. I've stopped going along to their houses because it's just not fun and I'm tired of catching flack for it when they're the ones with issues. Come on...getting drunk and trying to figure out a way home WHEN YOUR LITTLE KIDS ARE WITH YOU? Grow up!!
I've found that the friends I've made due to quilting; really aren't drinkers. Sure, we'll go out for the occasional drink after a class but it's 1 drink and it's maybe once out of 12 times.
It took me most of my twenties to figure out where else to meet friends, I'm not saying quilting is where it's at but possibly some sort of crafty hobby.
Thanks for the great comment, Jen! Yeah I definitely agree it's all about finding people through some kind of hobby. Because then you get to hang out and share your mutual appreciation for something besides getting drunk! ;-) When I gave up booze in college, I was taking latin dance and met a lot of great people through that. When we weren't in class, we'd go out for coffee and it was a great time. Like you said, it's nice to go out and grab a drink every so often. We all need to take the edge off from time to time. But this binge drinking and driving drunk stuff is ridiculous. Life's too short!
The stats on Wisconsin are fascinating, Manzi. As I've said many times, when I lived in Indiana, Iowa and even California, things were amazingly different. And as horrible as the consequences of over-indulging can be, for some reason Wisconsinites never tire of drink tickets, throwing up on themselves, losing their cars, being hungover, etc. Makes cheeseheads fat too! Such a beautiful place to live, why can't we just enjoy it sober?
Enjoy your Lenten sobriety, and I hope you meet more people soon who know how to have fun for real! Go Manzi go!!!
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