So I must confess that in writing this post I'll have to admit something. I watch The Hills. Okay that's out of the way. Now, even though I should have absolutely nothing in common with these uber-rich hotties of the SoCal nation, I do find myself relating to Lauren with every episode I see. Her and I have one very big thing in common. Our "best friends" have abandoned us for their boyfriends. And not just that, they abandon us for really obnoxious, immature douchebags. While plenty of people could have looked at Lauren's breakdown on this week's episode as over the top and "for the camera" I actually found it pretty moving. Only because I've been there...many, many times. All of my college roommates ditched me as well as their other girlfriends for some guy. At one point I was so disgusted and hurt by a certain friend's actions that I moved out and took the microwave and the cable with me. I feel Lauren's pain and every day I wonder why it is girls put all their eggs into the "boyfriend basket" and don't see how disrespectful it is to a friend. Here's a person who stood by you while the boyfriend treated you like crap. But because that person doesn't have a penis and can't boost your self-esteem by simply standing next to you...well there's no use for her is there.
C'mon ladies, have some dignity! We're supposed to be the smarter, more mature sex but honestly, when it comes to guys, we are shit. To us, being alone is like having a disease and being paired up is like winning the lottery. It's so backwards. I admit that I've become a less likable human being when in the throws of some infatuation. Lauren can definitely attest to that as well considering she chose Jason over a summer in Paris. Very few women are suceptible to the curse. But why not rise above it? Why not promise yourself the next time you get involved with a guy you remember that you don't HAVE to see him every day. In fact, he'd probably prefer it if you didn't. Plus, until your married and have made a vow to someone, friends and family should be just as important than a guy if not more so. These are the people who care for you unconditionally and they deserve your time and attention.
I will say that not all women are guilty of this sad phenomenon. My sister is the perfect example of someone who is the master at dividing her time. Sure there were times when I was bitter or resentful of her choosing her boyfriend over time with me or my family but she's my sister so I felt justified in being a little possessive. Over time though I've really grown to appreciate those times when we hang out at home watching TV or take a trip to Barnes & Noble on a Saturday morning. I think after years of being ditched or excluded by friends you never again take for granted when a friend does choose to spend her time with you.
So I guess I'd just like to give a shout out to all those single ladies whose friendships have gone sour because of male interference. I feel your pain. The best thing you can do is stick by your friends and be there for them when they need you but don't let your guard down either. Be cautious and if you find yourself being used solely as a sounding board, it's time to move on. Life's too short to spend with people who look at you as an accessory rather than a human being.
2 comments:
Well said my friend!!!! I'll be the first to admit that I've done it - though a couple of my situations were slightly different seeing as how they were either going to be moving out of the country or in the military, haha. So I was too worried about spending not enough time with them - though one REALLY proved not to be worth it.
The girlfriends that don't learn from their mistakes are the ones you stop worrying about.
Oh life.
Well I'm glad I'm doing an ok job ;) Interestingly enough, aside from this past weekend, I see you way more than John! If it weren't for work we'd never see each other. Blarg.
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