Nobody's life is perfect. In fact, most people deal with a lot of problems and hardships. So why do we spend more time wishing we had someone else's life instead of our own? I often think about this strange tendency of human beings because I am extremely guilty of it myself. The funny thing is...I really do like my life. There are things that I wish I could change but for the most part I think I'm doing very well for a 24 year-old female. And the interesting thing is, while I may sometimes want someone else's life, I never want to be someone else. So if that's true, what's the point in envying?
There is no point. Unfortunately though feeling envious is part of human nature. No matter how secure we are with ourselves and our lives, there is always something someone else has that we want. So rather that beat ourselves up for experiencing the feelings, I think it's important to figure out how to deal with the feelings constructively. Lately I've been realizing a lot about how the human mind functions and although it may sound cliche, it's all about attitude. The same thought or feeling could crop up in two people and the way those two people choose to deal with that thought or feeling absolutely determines how happy each person will be.
I could look at my life in the following way: I have a boring job, I'm poor, single, and all my best friends live 70 miles away. Or I could look at it like this: I have great writing and cooking skills. I'm taking acting classes which has been my dream since I was a child. I have a full-time job with great benefits. I'm working on publishing my first book. I have an amazing family. I have good health because I run, do yoga, and eat well. I have a fantastic apartment that I share with the best roommate in the world. And perhaps my greatest asset of all...I have a never ending desire to be a good person.
It's silly to assume that someone else's life is perfect because he or she may have a bunch of exciting things I don't have. People also have a wide variety of problems, insecurities, and hangups that I wouldn't want to touch with a 10-foot pole! And some people are really good at hiding these things so their lives will always seem perfect on the outside. We can never know the whole picture which is really the biggest reason why being envious is misguided and pointless. But like I said earlier, it's a part of human nature and the only thing we can do to rise above it is acknowledge the emotion, move on, and start appreciating what have.
Like I always say, life's too short to dwell on the negative. Never let yourself be angry, guilty, vengeful, or envious for longer than a moment. There's a whole world out there to be enjoyed and with the right attitude, anything is possible.
3 comments:
Wow. Totally brilliant and perfectly put. I almost want to print it out and put it on the bathroom mirror for each morning? :) And reading about what you do have? You really have a nice thing going!! Especially the part about the roommate ;) Interestingly enough, if I were to be "envious" for one moment, I'd pick your life to stir that envy. In a good way though! Because I always look up to you and your determination. Even with occasional hiccups (we've all got 'em!), you've got a great head on your shoulders and a slew of intricate interests that make you the multidimensional person you are! You're fabulous!! :)
Awww. You're too kind! And there's something to be said for envying people because they have admirable characteristics rather than envying them for their material possessions, significant others, and number of friends. At least in that sense you are simply aspiring to be a better person rather than just wanting a bunch of stuff. Besides, all those external things are so impermanent and who we are as human beings lasts a lifetime.
Wow. Interesting insight. Thank you so much.
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