Thursday, October 4, 2007

"He melts my foolish heart in every single scene..."

Recently, EW did a photo gallery tribute to the "ultimate male hotties" of the last fifteen years or so. This tribute really had nothing to do with acting chops or Oscar caliber performances. It was purely a dedication to the men they think heat up the screen. While I appreciate and very much agree with their sentiments, I decided to take those same "hotties" and consider what I think makes them so sexy.

Now unlike a lot of male moviegoers who would actually pay to see Good Luck Chuck for the sole reason of maybe seeing Jessica Alba naked, I actually have an affection for these lads that goes beyond physical appearance. Eye candy is lovely but if I'm already scarfing down nachos and Raisinets what I want more than anything is a little cinematic nutrition. The following actors are just that. They are absolutely thrilling to watch because they'll do anything to convey a character accurately and honestly. Yes, it helps that they are good-looking, but if you've ever seen The Insider, Courage Under Fire or The Machinist you'll know that hotness isn't always about being pretty. To me it's about being fearless and at one time or another, every man on this list has taken a leap.

But hey, if all that stuff about acting and "maintaining the integrity of a role" has you totally bored, there are plenty of ways you can enjoy all the guys on this list, and E-dubs and I have illustrated several.


Christian Bale



EW's Ultimate Hottie Moment Who knew the kid from The Empire of the Sun would grow up to be a work of art? We love him best as the sexiest Bruce Wayne to hit the big screen in Batman Begins

Z's Ultimate Hottie Moment For pure sex appeal, I've gotta say American Psycho. But my heart AND uterus skipped a beat watching him play a struggling husband and father in 3:10 to Yuma.


George Clooney



EW's Ultimate Hottie Moment Successfully wooing the U.S. marshal (Jennifer Lopez) who means to put him back in prison in 1998's Out of Sight

Z's Ultimate Hottie Moment I have to agree with E-dubs on this one. The bathtub, the hotel room, it was all very, very good.


Terrence Howard



EW's Ultimate Hottie Moment Slipping a garter off an icy (but quickly melting) bridesmaid in 1999's The Best Man

Z's Ultimate Hottie Moment The final moments of The Brave One. It's a very controversial ending to a very controversial film but Terrence did such a beautiful job. We ladies love of a guy who can be tender and sensitive while also kicking some major ass.


Jake Gyllenhaal



EW's Ultimate Hottie Moment Shaving in a car's side-view mirror, moments before meeting his soon-to-be-lover Heath Ledger in 2005's Academy Award-winning Brokeback Mountain

Z's Ultimate Hottie Moment I really need to go back to where it all began. I first saw Jake in Donnie Darko about five years ago and it remains my favorite performance of his to this day. Smart, witty, tortured, heroic...Donnie was the kind of guy you wish had gone to your high school.


Hugh Jackman



EW's Ultimate Hottie Moment With his razor-sharp claws and superhuman physical capabilities in the X-men film series, Wolverine is no doubt at the head of the pack

Z's Ultimate Hottie Moment Taking care of the sobbing mess that was Ashley Judd in Someone Like You. While I've never met a man in real life who could go from misogynistic asshole to sensitive confidant in just 97 minutes, Hugh has enough charm and charisma to pull it off in this movie.


Ewan McGregor



EW's Ultimate Hottie Moment As a dashing, starry-eyed poet, singing a medley of love songs on the rooftop with Nicole Kidman in 2001's Moulin Rouge

Z's Ultimate Hottie Moment To this day I still wonder if Big Fish would have had the same impact on me if Tim Burton had instead cast his favorite leading man, Johnny Depp, in the lead role. I adore Johnny but Ewan McGregor gave this character a kind of whimsy that I don't think any other actor could have given it. The circus scene is absolutely beautiful to watch.


Wentworth Miller



EW's Ultimate Hottie Moment Crashing Mariah Carey's wedding and using his killer stare to steal her away from Eric Roberts in the diva's "We Belong Together" video

Z's Ultimate Hottie Moment Hands down Wentworth's hottest moment was when his Prison Break character Michael Scofield finally planted one on sexy prison doctor Sara Tancredi. The scene was tender, provocative, and probably one of the most-watched YouTube clips of all time.


Hugh Grant



EW's Ultimate Hottie Moment As the hapless, hunky love interest of the engaging (and sadly engaged) Andie MacDowell in 1994's romantic dramedy Four Wedding and a Funeral

Z's Ultimate Hottie Moment It's so hard to decide! I absolutely love him in Notting Hill and About a Boy but I think I have to go with his role as Prime Minister in Love Actually. Going to the "dodgy end" of Wandsworth and knocking on every door just to track down his lady, well it doesn't get much hotter than that.


Clive Owen



EW's Ultimate Hottie Moment Bravely shepherding the last baby on Earth through a war zone in 2006's Children of Men

Z's Ultimate Hottie Moment Okay so it doesn't exactly scream romantic, but Closer is definitely where you'll find Clive's sexiest stuff. Watching him berate and degrade his cheating wife (played against type by Julia Roberts) is infuriating, heart-breaking and arousing all at the same time.


Denzel Washington



EW's Ultimate Hottie Moment Cheating on wife Joie Lee with siren Cynda Williams in 1990's Mo' Better Blues

Z's Ultimate Hottie Moment I love to watch Denzel's character arc in Philadelphia. As lawyer Joe Miller, Denzel begins as a typical man's man, proud of his masculinity while also quite homophobic. Based solely on the challenge of it, Joe decides to represent Andy, a homosexual lawyer who was fired because he contracted AIDS. As the film progresses and Joe grows closer to Andy, it is beautiful to watch him let his guard down and open himself up to a world he was once repulsed by. If only every man could follow suit.


Russell Crowe



EW's Ultimate Hottie Moment In the Colosseum, avenging the murders of his beloved wife and son, in 2000's Gladiator

Z's Ultimate Hottie Moment Who doesn't love a good Western especially one with a great anti-hero. Russell Crowe gives us exactly that with his portrayal of Ben Wade in 3:10 to Yuma. Like the Man with No Name, Ethan Edwards, and Bill Munny, Ben Wade illustrates all the great qualities of a Western anti-hero and does it with confidence, intelligence and oodles of sex appeal.


Honorable Mention (E-dubs, how could you leave THESE guys off the list??)

Daniel Craig, Hugh Laurie, Adrien Brody, Aaron Eckhart, Joaquin Phoenix, and Matt Damon. Now did I leave off anyone? Let me know peeps!

3 comments:

Miss Organizized said...

OMG AWESOME!! First I love how you gave your little "Z's moment" but I also love the youtube links and whatnot. Sweet!!

And PS thank you for mentioning Joaquin ;)

nik von H said...

I agree with everything - all well said ;)

But I have to say, being reminded of the Scofie and Sara kiss gave me the chills. That was one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed....and oh the noises......guh.....i need to go change.

Diana Laurence said...

Fantastic Z! You and EW hit on almost all my faves. But I must add a few:

Peter Sarsgaard - Hottest moment (possibly in the history of film, in my book): his seduction monologue near the end of "The Center of the World." What I wouldn't give for an audio clip of that.

Alan Rickman - Hottest moment: I dunno, anytime he opens his mouth? That voice...

David Wenham - Hottest moment: The first love scene in "Better than Sex"...although I'm very weird and must admit I just love the way his eyes move in the Gollum-in-the-pool scene in "LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring."

James McAvoy - Hottest moment: Being all magical and godlike as Leto in "Children of Dune." But he's also hot in a cozy way as Mr. Tumnus the Faun, n'est-ce pas?

Jason Isaacs - Hottest moment: Too hard to choose...Lucius Malfoy being evil? Captain Hook being evil? Col. Tavington being evil? Do we sense a theme here?

Colin Firth - Hottest moment: Dancing angrily with Elizabeth in "Pride and Prejudice."

Keanu Reeves - Hottest moment: When he came into his powers at the end of "The Matrix," although I also found him damn cute as Ted.

Honorable mentions to Rodrigo Santoro for just being too gorgeous for words in "Love Actually," and Diego Luna for being the sexiest dancer in modern film history in "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights."

Can you tell I write erotic romance?